Human sexuality is a fascinating subject for study, mainly because there is so much bad information available about it. For that we can thank our Christian heritage, which made us view this instinct as something sinful and dirty, leading us to repress aspects of ourselves. Here in the West, we all grew up with that mindset, whether we were overtly Christian or not; the Christian value system permeates our culture.
Two things attracted me to this book in particular. (1) Although I’m not a Zen Buddhist, large parts of that philosophy are compatible with my worldview. (2) Having previously read Warner’s book Hardcore Zen (and especially the chapter “Personal Demons”), I was captivated by his raw honesty; I thought, “If anyone can write a useful book about sex, it’s him.”
Sex, Sin, and Zen does not disappoint. It covers such topics as masturbation, celibacy, polyamory, pornography, BDSM (yes, you heard that right!), marriage and dating. It’s all angled towards the Zen practitioner, so there are many side-issues covered such as meditation, the nececssity (or otherwise) of a priest being celibate, and a frank chapter called “When Good Spiritual Masters Go Bad.” None of that detracts from the book one bit, but simply makes it more fascinating.
Five years ago I painfully detached myself from an 18-year stretch as a born-again Christian. As I pursured my own individual spiritual path, so began a slow process of sexual healing – both from the repression, and the obsession that it inevitably generates. I would hazard a guess that the reason the modern world is sex-crazed is due to all the repression we’ve lived under. We’ve never been allowed to integrate our sexual natures into our lives in a balanced and healthy way. One of the main things I took from this book was the perspective that the sex-saturated society we live in is just as unbalanced as the extreme sexual repression of the past. Overall, I didn’t learn a great deal that I didn’t already know, but that’s no criticism. It just means I’ve already come a long way myself. I found myself agreeing with the vast majority of the author’s assertions, and I could have done with a book like this five years ago. One of the most gripping sections of the book is a lengthy interview that Warner held with ex-porn star Nina Hartley – an actress who, curiously, is also a Zen Buddhist. This is a seriously open and self-realised woman.
Sex, Sin, and Zen is written in Warner’s characteristically rambling, friendly, down-to-earth style, laced with much humour. This is not a spiritual teacher who has any interest in appearing superior to his audience, which is a real breath of fresh air for this type of book. Highly recommended for those struggling to come to terms with the sexual side of their lives, whatever their predicament.